I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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