I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize