I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
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Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
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Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The power of my boobs compel you
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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