what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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