Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize