Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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