I am puke
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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