I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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