Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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