Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize