There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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