Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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