After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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