The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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