my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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