i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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