it's great music for shaving your balls
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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