I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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