I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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