She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize