I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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