i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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