i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize