quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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