On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
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We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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