I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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