No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize