she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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