Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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