yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I think i got beer on your cat.
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