Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize