I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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