It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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