Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize