Why are handjobs necessary in class?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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