this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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