Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
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We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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