dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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