matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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