the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
as a side note pls kill me
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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