gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
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She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
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I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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