genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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