Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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