I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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