ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
