How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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