I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober January is a disaster.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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