I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize