You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
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Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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