using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
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i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
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The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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